An addendum to the Biopic

We're back!  The year of Covid crawls to a close with a light at the end of the tunnel looking to be coming from somewhere around April 2021.  In the meantime, this is the first year since 1917 that Ohio State and Michigan will not play and we also have cynical power hungry politicians and their sycophants trying to make stupid people angry enough to give them their money because something something need money to stop a steal something something.  Some day there will be a documentary about these times, which will be followed with controversy about how accurately it depicted the situation, what facts are portrayed and the truthfulness of those facts, and most importantly whether or not blame is assigned to the correct people or if blame is even assigned at all.  It will probably be created and produced in another country if what is left of ours is no longer turning out quality entertainment for the hungry masses.  That's why our movie review mission is so important here at the Big Empty!!!  Future anthro-frickin-pology baby!!!!  The US wasn't always a cesspool of conspiracy, stupidity, and a population that was interested in only knowing enough to be dangerous and not one bit more.  We're here to make sure your great grandchildren know it.  Forward we go to the day when humanity figures out exactly when and where it all went wrong.  My money is on the cancellation of The Game.

Now, on to business. 

A break from a 3 year long movie review series to declare that Donald Trump Wins Re-Election with Broad Sweeping Mandate for Second Term!

Or at least that's what the headlines could have been saying.  Now if you're thinking I'm right because of all of the massive amounts of vote fraud that occurred in November of 2020, this is not the post for you.  Until your crack squad of professional dipshits can do anything besides hold press conferences where they say all the things they won't say in court, yet still never present any evidence, consider yourself out of school here.  You’ve gotten used to trying everything in the court of public opinion and muddying the waters enough to either win or soil the prize to where it isn’t worth anything anymore. You’re as annoying as the lefties who say Putin is the only reason Trump won the 2016 election. Now that your man has to go to actual court court, he doesn’t have a fucking fart in a skillet. Take that shit back to the corner of the internet where your bubble is impenetrable.  Here in the halls of the Big Empty, like the courts, facts still matter.  In God We Trust, all others; bring data.  So unless you are the Almighty Himself, your "plausible theories about what could explain the outcome that you can't fathom is possible" hold not one fucking drop of water here.  There are plenty of other sites that will eat that garbage up, but this isn't one of them.

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So, How'd we end up here in a movie review series? I've been working on the Best Documentary category, which I hope to finish soon.  My plan was to finish that up in September so that I could get to work on the Horror Category in October.  I think doing the Horror post was my plan for October of last year too now that I think of it.  Holy crap this is taking longer than I ever thought it would.  I'll finish this....I will.  I think I will.  No, I will.

Movies aren't on my mind much right now.  We are almost into month 9 of the Covid.  We just ended a very divisive election.  Every time we have one of those, we always say it was more divisive than any other previous election so saying that is somewhat stock.  But it was partly because, love him or hate him, there is no way that we can  have anything unifying where Donald Trump is involved.  He's not the cause, but rather the most glaring symptom of the rhetorical cancer that is now how government is chosen in the United States.  

As I sit here with two paragraphs written, I'm thinking to myself that I know this is going to be a long post, so I'll say what I think is the crux of the matter right at the top, and then go from there.  There are some, heck probably many many people, especially supporters of Trump that will disagree with me on this, but I truly believe there are two factors that had the greatest influence on the outcome of the election:

The Biopic Winner Is........

Well that last review was radiant eh?  Sorry.  I'll see myself out.

But first, an honorable mention and a winner.  Then I'll see myself out.

For honorable mention, I was very pleasantly surprised last December when I watched a movie called The Two Popes.  It had a limited theatrical release in November of 2019, but made a bigger splash on Netflix when it debuted there the following month.  I'm convinced that Anthony Hopkins can make a discussion about the scientific principles behind the speed that paint dries interesting and compelling to watch.  As someone who is not a born Catholic, the process that brought me to this movie was very organic.  I'm still not a Roman Catholic, but there was a time when I lived about 500 steps from one of the most vibrant church communities I've ever known.  It was a small Roman Catholic parish.  There was no marble.  No elaborate statues.  No paintings on the ceiling.  The frame was wooden, the siding was aluminum, the walls were plaster, and the heart was massive.  The church was rural, far away from urban centers.  It stood in a community where less than 500 people live, less than half of them practicing Catholics.  Yet the church was filled to its 200+ capacity every week.  People traveled from other towns where they had a Catholic church of their own to attend Mass here.  There were many reasons for this, but at the core, one of the most often cited reasons was the sense of community that people felt here that didn't exist at their larger more expensive and elaborate churches.

I grew up practicing my faith in protestant churches with aging membership that were trying to find a way to stop the children and grandchildren of their membership from leaving their home church.  Some searched desperately for answers.  Christian rock bands were started.  Youth groups were started.  Contemporary services were started.  Some of this succeeded.  Most of it didn't.  St. James Catholic Church did not have this problem.  Then in 2005, the Toledo Diocese decided to close dozens of churches due to a shortage of priests.  From my perspective, a shortage of priests was a temporary problem, a shortage of active membership was a potentially fatal one.  If I could see this, why couldn't the church leaders in Toledo see that?  At this time, Pope John Paul II passed away, and he was replaced with Pope Benedict who was even less sympathetic to my point of view.  My view that the Catholic Church was being led by an out of touch hierarchy that had lost vision was cemented at this point.  I stopped listening to church leadership and didn't grant them an ounce of credibility.  Our church family continued without formal recognition from the Toledo Diocese, and without my interest in what the hierarchy would say or do.

The Two Popes is the story of what happened in the most confidential parts of the hierarchy that I had been ignoring since 2005.  It is fascinating discussion, invigorating debate, and deep deep soul searching that suggest I was wrong, very wrong in my conclusion that the Catholic hierarchy lacks self awareness.  I'll post a preview, but I really do suggest setting aside some time to just watch and ponder what took place between Pope Benedict and his successor Pope Francis prior to their transition.

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Now for the shining moment you've all been waiting way too long for...so long you forgot what you were waiting for.

I'm finally back to work to deliver a Biopic category!

I just noticed that I began this project nearly a year ago...April 5th 2019 to be exact.  And, it has been ~9 months since I told you I'd be back soon to cover the biopic category.  Since that time, we've seen Halloween, the season where I wanted to cover the Horror category, come and go.  We've given thanks, watched the Buckeyes crush the Wolverines (again), celebrated Christmas, watched me turn a year older, rang in the New Year, watched me rant about the people who make and enforce the rules in a game played by college students that I take too seriously, and gone into seclusion to avoid the spread of the novel Coronavirus.

You'd think that would be a lot of time to come up with material.  But you would be wrong.  I haven't thought much about my pet movie project.  It's been one thing after another.  But now, we all have a lot more time to tap into our creative side between hand washing, hydrating, remote conference calls, and figuring out how to acquire toilet paper and bread.

So, with that, I bring you my first Gen X Movie review of 2020.

Post Loss Musings From an OSU Fan On What May Actually Kill Football

I've experienced the pain of being a Buckeye fan in the 90s.  I thought we'd exorcised those demons when Jim Tressel took over and shocked the world in 2002.  Then in 2006, I invited a crew of family and friends over to attend a beer and buffalo wing soaked coronation led by our Heisman Trophy winning superstar quarterback.  That night, Urban Meyer and his Florida Gators broke my heart into 1,000 pieces.  In 2007, I was still numb from it so that loss to LSU didn't hurt so much as it just sucked.

I didn't expect to be CFP champions in 2016 due to the lack of any consistent offensive identity that season.  But I expected the game with Clemson to be close, and that we'd have a chance to pull something out like we did against The Team Up North a few weeks earlier.  It was New Year's Eve and I was at a party.  Many of the people I was surrounded by didn't care about football or OSU nearly as much as I did.  There were a few Buckeye haters there too.  Everyone was also drunk.

The Biopic! But first, a little (actually a lot of) context.

It's been a while and I've got some catching up to do.  I'm sitting at a picnic table at my campsite on a cool sunny day.  I've got nowhere to go and nothing to do except snack and day drink, so this is the best opportunity I'm going to get to pick this back up.  In my last post, I said I was going to tackle comedy next, and I will some day, but I've been putting a lot more thought into biopics lately.  Comedy is something that deserves my full attention to do it justice.

Before I just list the best, I really want to talk about what bothers me about this genre.  It can be very formulaic and is oh so prone to making shit up to enhance a story that may not stand on its own two feet otherwise.  The formula I think of goes like this:

And the Drama Category winner is.....

Our winner could also be categorized as a biopic, however it is sufficiently speculative about things that are unknown, and downright revisionist in other areas.  I'm going to look like a hypocrite here because I've already panned a few movies for taking a true story and blurring the lines between fact and fiction.  Our winner however, makes no claims to being historically accurate and makes it clear that that isn't the point.  It takes two historical figures and uses their story as a backdrop to sympathetically explore the depths of human jealousy and how personal rivalry separates humanity from God.  One character's twisted sense of piety ultimately sets him up for a life so steeped in sin, that he is oblivious to the fact that he has damned himself to a life in hell while still living on earth.  It's like taking the story of the Prodigal Son, but never allowing the older dutiful son to reconcile with his father, and seeing how that plays out over the long haul.  If ever there were a tragedy of our modern world worth putting to the big screen, it is the all too unfortunate truth that humans cause themselves so much unnecessary suffering simply by never trying to become any good at forgiveness and accepting that they are worthy of being forgiven.  Our winner puts it all out there right in front of us to see this tragic human flaw.

So without further ado, the Big Empty Gen X Drama Movie Award (patent pending) goes to:

Drama: First Runner Up

So I’m getting behind schedule and part of the reason is that this particular category is harder to cover. Drama movies require a little more analysis to do them justice, and it is also difficult to find good clips. These movies are more fiercely protected by our capitalist overlords so while every scene that I want may have been posted at one time on YouTube, there is a good chance it has been taken down due to a violation of rules about posting licensed material by someone who didn’t have proper authorization.

Drama Continued

With a few honorable mentions now named and discussed, I'll move on now to the finalists and winner.  For me, a drama movie is meant to serve the purpose of giving us a look at ourselves from an angle or through a particular lens, allowing us a view we would not normally have.  If done very well, it will compel us to consider or reconsider certain truths that we as individuals have established for ourselves.  The drama film can be used as a tool to exhibit what is inspiring, discouraging, beautiful, ugly and all things in between about humanity.  But when it's a good drama (in the way Big Empty defines good), it won't be spoon fed or obvious.  Which brings me to my second runner up:

We tackle the Drama from a Gen X perspective

So with one complete category behind us, we charge forward to explore what's good in the world of drama.  As previously mentioned, the selections here will come from a crowded field.  The challenge here is that the drama movie is the sandbox that Oscar talk plays in.  I need to be upfront that every movie is on a level playing field in this project.  Just because a film had a run that included a star studded red carpet evening where people in Versace cried about how much it meant to them to be involved in it before carrying a gold statue stage left gives it no extra points here.  It is noted that the deciders of who receives those statues don't care what we here at the Big Empty think and the feeling is pretty much mutual.  The Academy is ultimately a political entity as much or more than it is a judge of quality.  Put another way, it is an institutional gathering for the sole purpose of congratulating and celebrating the institution.  That doesn't mean they always get it wrong, but it definitely doesn't mean they always get it right either; and when they do get it right, they took a very different path to get there from the one I would take.  To represent the folks like me and what we think, the only voice we have is our $$$.  So we here take it seriously that if the institutional insider opinion and ticket sales are really the only measure of what's good, that we need to bring something important to the narrative to make this a useful exercise.

Phew, well that was a mouthful of a preface. 

Sports Movies continued

Before I tackle the big kahuna of sports movies, I want to give a heartfelt shout out to Remember the Titans (2000) as my Honorable Mention.  It was really tough to leave it out.  Based on the true story of Herman Boone's uphill battle to integrate a high school football team in Virginia in 1971, the film conspicuously telegraphs that we'll be gathering round the screen for a sermon about racism.  This will either immediately turn people on, or turn them off.  There's a thing about the 'Hollywood tackles racism' thread that gives off a "this will make white people feel good about themselves while doing nothing for black people" vibe.  To do this well, you want to make sure your movie isn't this:

There's a reason that's funny.

Sports movies

The Gen X movie series kicks off with the Sports drama.  I'm going to try to stay as true as possible to pointing out what is culturally significant or important all throughout this.  As I mentioned in my introductory post, the sports drama is very hard to do in an original way.  Which brings me to the second runner up in this category.

The Big Empty Gen X Movie Series

I'm excited to announce a mini project to explore the best movies of my generation.  I'm still waiting for the weather to warm up and need something interesting to occupy my time.  Now first off, this isn't going to be my collection of personal movie reviews or my Baba Booey list of the DVDs that I'd take with me to a deserted island.  Nobody gives a shit about that and it would be a waste of my time to write it that way and a waste of anyone else's time to read it.  For this project, I wanted to dig a little deeper and unpack what makes certain movies good.  When I say good, I mean in a culturally significant or important way.  There's nothing unprecedented about that necessarily except that I've always wanted to read a review about multiple movies that valued the same key themes and principles across multiple genres.  Since I can't find much more than piecemeal reviews of individual movies, I decided I'd write it.

At first I thought this shouldn't be too hard because I tend to think that ~97% of movies don't succeed at being good, leaving me a very small pool to select from.  One of the reasons that  most movies don't succeed in ways that another similar one might to me boils down to the fact that movie making in America is ultimately a capitalist endeavor.  Giving the people what they want

You may or may not know that you outed yourself. Was it worth it?

There is at least one person very close to you who has been sexually assaulted. 

This person agonized over the decision to report the assailant knowing that if they do, they will be disbelieved and possibly ridiculed.  They know that even if they endure all of that, they will probably watch their assailant go free or get little more than a slap on the wrist. 

This person saw your posts disparaging the #MeToo movement as a “progressive smear campaign orchestrated by losers on the left who are frustrated over the results of the last election” or something to that effect. 

Remembering when TV was more real than reality

I don't care about Roseanne Barr's politics.  I knew she was a flake before that crotch grabbing and spitting rendition of the National Anthem 28 years ago.  I didn't care about her politics when she was a raving liberal and I still don't care now.  I watched and really liked the Roseanne reboot.   I wish we could leave it at that.

The old show was good because

Go have your talk, but the adults will take it from here

Every single time there is a mass shooting, the stalling tactics of the interest groups come out in full force, and exhibit A is embedded below.  There is no exhibit B as these are the same tired old tropes that have been used for the last 20 years.  I can save you 5 minutes and 43 seconds by summarizing:

1. Guns aren't the problem.  We all proudly showed off the guns we got for Christmas as kids in school.  We brought them on the bus, and kept them in our lockers and nothing bad happened.
2. We're a violent culture.  Video games and movies have desensitized our kids to violence, and the games have become more realistic.  One game awards extra points for "finishing off" your opponent.
3. We need to have a dialogue about it, but those who think restricting access to firearms need to "get a new idea."  
4. Those who think otherwise don't realize that just as much carnage can be brought on with other things like cars.

It has finally happened

The first movement conservative to unmask in public has stepped forward and demonstrated in the bright light of day what I have been saying for years the national Republican Party truly is, but will never admit to being. It is a party of country club elite plutocrats concerned only with the challenge of reclaiming the wealth that that is unjustly funneling to the hired hands who support the business assets that justify their membership in the club. Of course there aren't enough club members to carry one district much less win a national election, so the challenge has always been to make the unwashed masses* that are beneath them, believe one of two things:

Doing the big dance!

I remember the days well, when the Connecticut Huskies losing to Holy Cross was just another day in the basketball season.  There was no "wait 'til next year!" it just was.  In my freshman year at Hamden High School, an athlete named Scott Burrell graduated and went on to play a big part in changing that.  First he had to turn down an offer from the Seattle Mariners.  Once past that hurdle, he joined a UCONN Husky squad that included Chris Smith, Tate George and Nadav Henefeld.  They would go 31-6, collecting a Big East Conference Championship and an appearance in the Elite Eight, eventually falling to tournament runner up Duke.  That was a year where whoever went to the finals would have to face a UNLV team that was and may still be unrivaled.  But for those of us in Connecticut, this will be the crowning moment for the year that truly gave birth to Husky-mania:



To us, what would later happen in 1999, 2004, and 2011 was only a matter of time; and none of us doubted it.

"I miss the comfort of being sad......"

Hard to believe it was 20 years ago that so much potential ended as abruptly as it began.  The whole world was forced to take notice just 3 years prior and just like that, music was taken out of its 80's comfort zone, and hitting the road on what promised to be a wild journey with an unknown destination or ETA.  I was a product of the 80's who wasn't very impressed with what passed for popular music the first time I heard "Smells Like Teen Spirit."  I was 17 years old and hanging out with a couple of high school buddies at a pool hall when it came on.  I hated heavy metal music at that time, and the guys I was with and I sometimes cut up on headbanger stereotypes when the mood struck us or we were just plain bored.  I didn't want to admit that I might like the song. I also didn't know that it wasn't heavy metal, at least not the way I knew it at the time.  It wasn't long before I bought 'Nervermind' and I along with everyone my age was craving more.  We didn't have to look hard.  Soon 'Teen Spirit' was next to songs called 'Outshined' and 'Even Flow' on the tapes I was making to play in the car. 

Whatever it was called, grunge, alternative, punk,

Why do I hate Michigan?

My last post was a dissertation on some behavioral observations about Michigan fans on the shallow end of their fanbase gene pool.  I mentioned that someday I would describe my history as an OSU fan, and in order to do that post justice, it was necessary to do some introspection on just why TTUN is just so God awful.